Burnie: So I’ve been wanting to tell this story on the podcast for a while. Gus you know what I’m gonna say… Gus: Yes! I’ve been waiting to hear this! Burnie: Alright so a few weeks ago, I’m out with Gavin. I’m talking to Gavin. Burnie: And he said the stupidest thing I have ever heard him say. [THUMP] Gus: Hey! No hitting the desk! [THUMP] Burnie: What is that?! [THUMP] Drunk Burnie: What’s up bitches! Burnie: *gasp* Drunk Burnie! How did you get in here? Drunk Burnie: Found your keys and now you’re gonna die. Girl Burnie: Ohhh less than 3! You’re so funny teehee. Burnie: What the hell?!? Girl Burnie: Don’t be shy. Just click the accept invite button and we can chat all night long. LOL Gus: Burnie! Your alter egos are attacking! [shattering glass] Burnie: The horse puncher? What the fuck!? Horse puncher Burnie: Fear not citizens. I’ve defeated this strange horse that was attacking a fellow employee. Michael: Fucking asshole.
Horse puncher Burnie: He got the punch he deserved. Gus: What the fuck is going on? Burnie: I’m getting the fuck outta here. Gus: Oh God, don’t leave me here! Ginger Burnie: So I figured you know this is like a break room and everything and I don’t see you with anyone else, so you know… you maybe wanna dance with me? Lindsey: No! Get away from me! Burnie: Oh come on, he’s here too?
Lindsey: Yeah he will not stop asking me to dance with him! Ginger Burnie: I brought my inhaler. Burnie: Alright this is too fucking weird. Who is that!? Mustache Burnie: I AM THE FULCRUM! Mustache Burnie: I AM THE MISSING PIECE OF THE WOR… Michael: Hey gingee, get the fuck away from my girlfriend! Anime Burnie: Uhhh that’s my uncle. [Loud Fight noises] [Fight noises and shattering glass] Old timey Burnie: Dateline, Rooster Teeth parking lot, we find our split personality protagonist unconscious on the icy cold pavement outside his overran office Old timey Burnie: Will our hero survive? Or will he meet a cruel fate worse than death? Old timey Burnie: Stay tuned for more…
Burnie: Shut up! Ugh, alright you know what? That’s it enough of this. I’m going home. Burnie: Gonna eat a sandwich or… something. Chris: You’re a really good listener statue Burnie I’m … maybe if you’re not doing after work we can go grab a bite to eat or something I mean if you want that is… Chris: Really!?! Chris: You do? Chris: I really like you too statue Burnie! Chris: Hug? Chris: Thanks. Chris: Hmm, bird poop.